History of Domestic Violence
By: Kyrie Nurenberg, Haven Intern Valdosta State University
How many centuries has domestic violence been a normal part of everyday life? There may be some who will argue it is not an everyday occurrence and is rare. Statistically it will happen to 1 in 3 women, 1 in 10 men.(NCBI) More than likely you know at least one person who has been abused. Just as likely you may know an abuser as well. This is in an age where society looks down on domestic violence and has made it illegal, a society that has only existed for less than four decades. That's also only in some places around the world, many more there is still a legal right for men to beat their wives. Even in countries that make it a criminal offense though it still happens to thousands of men and women everyday, every minute even. It is still so pervasive in our society and it may be because of how long it was socially acceptable to beat your wife and children.
Before we get into laws one of the oldest sources we have on how normalized violence against women is myths. Myths are an insight to long ago culture’s values and how they might live their everyday lives. Because of that we can see how ancient people viewed what a women’s place was and how she could be treated. We see in many myths involving Zeus, well known for being the Greek god of lightning and the king of gods but he was also the god of hospitality. He has numerous myths of raping women, hurting them and even killing and eating his first wife.(Sage Publication) No woman is spared, not divine or mortal. Violence was so normal in that culture that the violence against even the goddesses was acceptable. Zeus is not the only one in mythology, much less in Greek mythology, but as the Greeks place him as king of the gods he is also husband and the man who oversees hospitality rules, or xenia. If he is allowed to do violent things onto women then we can extrapolate that it was also okay for mortal husbands to be violent to the women in their life as well. Enough that is expected of husbands to beat their wives if they so please.
In the oldest laws we have, the Hammurabi's codes, women were little more than property, not surprising as that is the case in many ancient civilizations. Though here we can see what they consider the way to handle circumstances. The codes of Hammurabi were brutal and were such to deter crimes. In the code men had the right to ‘discipline’ their wives. Though the cruelty sticks out when adultery is met with death of both parties. Even just the accusation of having cheated the woman was still expected to throw herself into the river to prove herself to her husband.(Yale Law) The idea behind this trial was if someone sank they were guilty and if they survived and got to shore they were innocent. These codes were written around 1750 BCE. For at least four thousand years it has been legal for abuse to happen.
As the years go on we do not see any improvement. Over a thousand years later Rome was forming under Romulus and we see the laws of Chastisement, among the laws we see it decreed that a wife could be beaten by a rod or a stick as long as it was no bigger than that man’s right thumb.(Columbia) It then became known as ‘the rule of thumb’ a saying still used in English to this day. These instruments would leave welts and bruises at the very least. Since the husband also followed the law then it didn’t matter what the wife or child or slaves did he was well within his rights in the eyes of what many consider civilized Rome. The father was the ultimate authority, much like a king in his own house. He had the right to dole out abuse as he saw fit over his subjects and Rome mostly supported it. Mostly supported because in Agustus time, 700 years after Romulus in 19 BCE, he passed a law known as Agustus’ adultery legislation. It was not progressive as it did criminalize women’s sexual activities and other things it is noted to be one of the earliest laws that limited and defined when a father could kill his daughter or husband could punish an adulterous wife.(Oxford) It is not much done but it shows a chance for even more reforms and possibilities.
Control and domination is the cornerstone of power. The early church was no different as the empire fell and they remained. Women were blamed for the original sin and must be punished for the temptation of Adam. The rule of thumb was taken and used by the catholic church as they expanded and said that domestic violence women faced was good for their spiritual wellbeing.(Columbia) Women’s suffering has been seen as piety by religious figures. In their eyes at the time it might make up for Eve encouraging Adam into eating the apple. Each country still had their own set of laws but the church guided many rulers. It was also a time of violence and war, and as such the sexual assault of woman was an accatable part of the time. As the years continue though many countries stopped using the rule of thumb and allowed the husband free range again.
From the middle ages we won’t see any major changes. For countries willing to denounce barbarism they were still violent to non european people (though some european nationalities were also brutalize) and to women everywhere. When the American colonies formed they adopted English common laws that included punishing the wife, but to distance themselves from England more they included the rule of thumb.(Uni of Pittsburg) They could only build off what the last centuries had told them, laws that were in place long before they were born. The rule of thumb was first created over two thousand years ago. We see this repetitive cycle of abuse now through almost eighty generations of human beings. An unknowable number of women who have died and suffered and an unknowable number of men as well. That was five hundred years ago only in current time.
In 1882, three hundred years after the puritans first settled on indigenous lands, we finally saw a shift. In Maryland they created a law in which any man charged with wife beating would face criminal charges and either face jail for up to a year or receive forty lashes.(Nobler) It had taken two thousand and five hundred years for the western world built off of Athens, Greece and the Roman empire’s ideals to outlaw domestic violence. Even with this law though it was hard to prosecute because many, many people believed abuse was a family problem to solve. Twenty years before this ruling the SPCA, the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, was formed.(Uni of Pittsburg) It predates prevention of cruelty to women and children. While abusive people will target animals as well as their victims it is telling of a society who found value in stopping animal abuse before wife and children’s abuse.
Now skipping another hundred years later, 1976, we will see the opening of the first domestic shelter in New York city.(Columbia) This had been in the works for decades at this point as women wished to see actual action taken to protect victims of domestic violence. This would help a lot of people with going to a safe place to find a job and get the resources to free themselves from abusive spouses. Our own shelter, The Haven, would open just twelve years later in 1988. Then again with the push of advocacy groups in 1993 the UN would recognize Domestic violence as an international human rights issue. The next year the US would pass the VAWA, Violence against women act.(Nobler) For only thirty years domestic violence advocates have been able to push for more awareness around domestic violence and while not all abusers are prosecuted we see a rise in at least getting more and more victims to safety.
When we think of collective memory of society we are faced with the realization that our hundred years, if we want to be generous, of trying to stop domestic violence cannot hold a candle to the millenniums of abuse. This is not just something that is a part of everyday life currently, but has been since at least 1750 BCE. Around two hundred generations have thought violence against women and children was justifiable. That is something that is so intertwined in our lives we need to acknowledge it and be actively aware that we know people in these situations. We just need to be looking for the signs and ready to offer help when need be. In spreading awareness and being open to the facts that this is a systemic issue we can start working towards a future where this truly isn't a part of everyday life
Acknowledging a New Type of Abuse
What is domestic violence? Domestic violence is term we use to describe physical abuse, but domestic violence is much more than that. Domestic violence is a pattern of assault and coercive behaviors, attitudes, and expectations, including physical, sexual, verbal and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion, that adults and adolescents use against their intimate partners. Domestic violence is used by one person to gain and maintain power and control over another. Here are some examples:
Physical Abuse: includes pushing, shoving, pinching, scratching, hitting, kicking, slapping, abandoning in a dangerous place, and holding someone to keep her from leaving.
Sexual Abuse: includes continued sexual advances after being told “no,” unwanted or uncomfortable touching, calling someone sexually derogatory names, and forced sex.
Emotional/Verbal Abuse: includes name-calling, constant criticizing, threatening, public humiliation, controlling behavior, isolating from others, behaving jealously, and destroying possessions.
Digital Abuse: writing something online that isn’t true; sharing information that a person didn't want shared, spreading false rumors, cyber bullying, threatening physical harm, impersonation (cat-fishing), spying, posting embarrassing photos or video, being pressured to send naked photos, being teased, and encouraging people to hurt themselves.
Financial Abuse: sabotages employment opportunities, forbids you from working, controls how money is spent, denies you direct access to bank accounts, gives you a low allowance to live on, refuses to pay bills for accounts that are in your name in order to ruin your credit, forces you to turn over paychecks or public benefits checks, withholds money for basic necessities like food and medication.
Stalking: following you and showing up wherever you are, send unwanted gifts or letters, monitor your phone calls or computer use, use technology, like hidden cameras or global positioning systems to track where you go, drive by or hang out at your home or work, finding information about you by using public records or online search services, going through your garbage, contacting your friends or family to find you.
After all this abuse, how can abusers create a new way to abuse? In many religions divorce or separation is looked down on and even forbidden. This gives abusers the power and control in the relationship and leaves the victim feeling alone and lost. Pastors and leaders are encouraged to get domestic violence training to better equip them to recognize domestic abuse, appropriately respond, and counsel wisely. So, what does religious abuse look like?
Religious Abuse: Using beliefs to manipulate someone, preventing someone from practicing their religious or spiritual beliefs in a relationship, forcing someone to violate their religious beliefs or practices, ridiculing or minimizing your partners beliefs.
Why do people stay? Although there are many reasons to why someone might stay in an abusive relationship, here are a few examples...
Love: So often, the victim feels love for their abusive partner. They may have children with them and want to maintain their family. Abusive people can often be charming, especially at the beginning of a relationship, and the victim may hope that their partner will go back to being that person. They may only want the violence to stop, not for the relationship to end entirely.
Cultural/Religious Reasons: Traditional gender roles supported by someone’s culture or religion may influence them to stay rather than end the relationship for fear of bringing shame upon their family.
Language Barriers/Immigration Status: If a person is undocumented, they may fear that reporting the abuse will affect their immigration status. Also, if their first language isn’t English, it can be difficult to express the depth of their situation to others.
Lack of Money/Resources: Financial abuse is common, and a victim may be financially dependent on their abusive partner. Without money, access to resources or even a place to go, it can seem impossible for them to leave the relationship. This feeling of helplessness can be especially strong if the person lives with their abusive partner.
Disability: When someone is physically dependent on their abusive partner, they can feel that their well-being is connected to the relationship. This dependency could heavily influence their decision to stay in an abusive relationship.
If you or someone you know has experienced this and needs our help. Please call 229-244-4477.
The Red Zone
Did you know that there is a stretch of time when college students are more likely to be sexually assaulted than at any other time in their college career? It’s called the Red Zone and according to the Department of Justice, it’s the time between when a student first arrives on campus in late August and Thanksgiving break. During this time, 1 in 4 undergraduate women are sexually assaulted on campus. This year in 2020 we are reclaiming the red zone by raising awareness and educating college campuses. Join The Haven on VSU campus for Sexual Assault Awareness Month to #TakeBackTheRedZone”. -Clothesline Project on VSU campus down the pedestrian mall the week April 13 th -17 th . -The annual Take Back the Night even April 15 th from 6-8pm. -Take a look down the pedestrian mall at the “What were you wearing” campaign. The Haven will be out all week from April 20 th to the 24 th . -Purchase Jeans for Justice T-shirts on April 24 th or online at www.valdostahaven.org all proceeds will go to victims of sexual assault. Krebs, C. P., Lindquist, C. H., Warner, T. D., Fisher, B. S., & Martin, S. L. (2014). The campus sexual assault (CSA) study: Final report. Washington, DC: National Institute of Justice, US Department of Justice.
